´Tis better to have loved and lost. Than never to have loved at all.

Unrequited love, love that doesn't come back, a person in love mourning the loss of love...this is a theme that has accompanied humanity since the beginning of time.

Love can't be bought, love can't be earned, love can't be taken by force. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe. We can only give love. We can only offer love. Here, take as many as you need. 

Maybe one day I will deserve your love.

I love you with all my heart Nandi.

You're everything to me. I will wait for you all my life. I promise that.

7 steps for Nandi

14. Talk with psychologist

12.01.2025

A few months ago I visited Dr. Patricia. She is not only an excellent doctor, but also an excellent psychologist and a long-time friend.

13. Cat story

12.01.2025

I am a romantic who believes that everyone can experience their own love story. In a few days I will be 50 years old. At this age, no "love stories" are expected. Since 2018, my heart has been filled with love for only one person. Nandi Hidayat. The first year of our acquaintance was full of sending messages and calling....

12. Recapitulation of 2024

12.01.2025

It has now been a year and a half since my health returned to normal and the doctor declared the colon cancer to be stopped. A few days ago, however, I had to have my stomach checked. Unfortunately, they found another polyp again, but this time its ability to transform into a tumor is no longer 90% like before, but "only" 50%....

9. Too many Alexs

19.02.2024

When I got seriously ill with cancer, it was like a bolt from the sky. Life really turns upside down. I promised myself that I would help people more, that life is really very precious and if I could help just one person, that would be great. The war in Ukraine has started. I went and sometimes still go to...

another fucking Dutchman overtook me

06.01.2024

Many years ago I was researching my ancestry and discovered that my great grandfather was Dutch and I am named after him. My birth certificate states that I am a Czech citizen, but my nationality is Dutch. It is strange. The Dutch seem to have become fatal to me.


Imagine. (May 2018) you are 44 and for the first time in your life you are going to fall really deeply in love with an Indonesian man. The most beautiful boy in the world with the smile of an Angel and a voice as soft and pleasant as the caress of God himself.You write and call each other every day. You plan for the future. I promised him that I would marry him and he promised me the same. I had a gold engagement ring made with a small diamond and his name on it. Nandi Hidayat.All year long you enjoy love that knows no bounds and nothing stands in the way of happiness. Then your life turns upside down when you are told the diagnosis of "stomach cancer", the same diagnosis that your grandfather died of in 6 months. Fear and the fight for life will take over the whole mind. You channel all your energy into healing. You undergo treatment that makes you incredibly sick, your whole body and joints ache, you throw up and you stop functioning as a man.And when after 3 years you finally win your battle for life, you tell this news to your love, he is not happy, but he announces that he has found another friend, rich, with whom he can travel a lot, just what I cannot offer. Instead of recognition, you will receive the worst punishment of all, the worst punishment that anyone can do to a person in love: Your love will give his first touch, his first kiss and his first making love to another man in the Netherlands who doesn't deserve it and didn't fight for it.You try your best to explain everything, but he doesn't want to communicate, you write, you call, but the new man forbids him to talk to me.You sell the only thing you have left - your car to have money for a plane ticket to Indonesia, but on the same day of your arrival, his new boyfriend also flew to Indonesia and your love blocks you.You try everything to show that your love is real, that you are only here for him, you learn Indonesian every day, you exercise to look better, you stop eating meat so you don't get sick again, you save money for your love if she needs it...but everything is useless.All you have left is the gold ring and the foundation fund for children with spinal disabilities, which I founded and which bears his name: Nandi.
​


Only and only for you, my beloved Nandi


https://www.facebook.com/ncndytho

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Nandi Hidayat (@nandihisofficial)

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